Canned Horror (a.k.a Cheeseburger in a Can)

by arnold on July 20, 2008

Some of you might remember my previous post on the infamous Cheeseburger in a Can. They’re sold by a company in Germany, and they weren’t taking direct orders directly from America. A couple months ago, my wife told me she had a friend in Germany that could order this oddity for us. I asked for two cans, and they arrived earlier this week. Why two cans? One was for our collection of weird food, and one was…to eat.

Here’s how the product looks according to the Trekking Malhzeiten Online Store:


cheeseburger in a can

Looks appetizing, right?

Did the actual canned cheeseburger possibly resemble that picture? Not even close.


Cheeseburger in a Can

As you might expect, the lettuce, tomato, and cheese that appear in the promotional image are nowhere to be found.

How did it taste? I thought it was pretty gross. The meat didn’t taste like a burger at all and was more like a sausage patty in both flavor and texture. The top bun piece looked fairly normal, but when you removed the burger from the can, the bottom bun was soggy and disgusting. There was a fairly strong cheese-like odor, as well.

Overall, I thought it was like a really disgusting school cafeteria hamburger. It was so bad that I actually needed a beer…at 11am. I don’t normally drink, and when I do it’s not first thing in the morning, but I really wanted some alcohol to disinfect my mouth. Luckily, I had some leftover beers from a party still in the fridge.

(For the record, my wife didn’t think it was as bad as I did, but the general consensus was that it was disgusting.)

Here’s the full picture set:




Luckily, I made it up to my stomach later in the day when we went to Chez Maman in San Francisco for dinner and treated myself to this amazing burger topped with Gruyere, bacon and an over-easy egg:

Burger with Gruyere, Bacon and Fried Egg
 

Possibly Related Posts:


{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Rob S July 21, 2008 at 1:22 am

That canned cheeseburger is TERRIFYING, and this comes from a guy who for a while found solace in vending machine/throw in the microwave cheeseburgers. thank the GODS that you threw us the Chez Marman burger.

Long time listener, first time caller,

r.

Reply

Steph July 21, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Good lord, Arnold. I almost lost my lunch looking at those pictures. What’s the opposite of food porn?

Reply

Ty July 21, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Now on to the opposite end of the burger spectrum!

http://tinyurl.com/5j5ho4

Reply

Arnold July 21, 2008 at 1:23 pm

@Ty: I’m totally going to eat that burger one day…either in NY or Vegas.

Reply

Susannah July 22, 2008 at 7:17 pm

I totally agree with Steph!

Reply

Moonie July 22, 2008 at 10:38 pm

they need to can sex and see what it looks like after you open it.

Reply

Brando July 23, 2008 at 12:09 am

Again, we come back to the old saying… If can, can. If no can, no can.

That canned cheeseburger. NO CAN!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO CAN!!! PLEASE! IT’S TORTURE!!

I’d eat a prune before that – and I HATE prunes…

Reply

Lando July 26, 2008 at 10:14 am

Dude, that burger in a can looks nasty. Who would have known they’d come up with an idea like that. bah…

How was that burger at Chez Maman? The only time I had a burger with an egg was in Absinthe. The egg adds a nice touch.

Reply

Arnold July 26, 2008 at 10:16 am

@Lando: Chez Maman makes some of my favorite burgers around. :-)

Reply

anne July 27, 2008 at 10:40 pm

I’m gavomiting…

Reply

Paul August 1, 2008 at 7:30 am

Yikes! This is just wrong, wrong, wrong. I can’t believe you guys actually ate that thing! I guess that’s the joy of having your own food blog.

Bon appetit!

Reply

Arnold August 1, 2008 at 9:49 am

@Paul: I don’t know if “joy” is the right word, but we do have a responsibility to make these things public. :-)

Reply

Tom Aarons August 3, 2008 at 6:34 am

It’s the seventh photo that does it for me. It’s still raw! :)

Reply

Arnold August 3, 2008 at 10:08 am

@Tom Aarons: Yeah…I noticed that and actually ended up microwaving it before eating it.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post:

free hit counter script