Who needs Oscar® when you can win a Golden Clog?

by arnold on February 20, 2008

The Golden Clogs, a series of reverent and sometimes snarky food-related awards devised by writer Michael Ruhlman and renegade chef Anthony Bourdain, announced their nominees yesterday on Eater. The awards will be announced on Friday, Feb. 22 at the 2008 South Beach Wine & Food Festival in Miami Beach, Florida.

The nominees for the awards were determined Ruhlman and Bourdain by an “advisory board” that included chefs Mario Batali and Michael Symon, and food writers Russ Parsons, Ed Levine, Jennifer Leuzzi and Dara Moskowitz. The winners will be decided solely by both Ruhlman and Bourdain, but they also have the option of consulting with the advisory board for help if needed.

Check out some of the nominees with my picks in bold after the jump. See the full list of nominees at Eater.


THE FERGUS

For greatest achievement in pork, and/or guts


Nominees:

  • Martin Picard of Montreal’s “Au Pied de Cochon”
  • David Chang of New York’s “Momofuku Noodle Bar and Momofuku Ssam and …”
  • Chris Cosentino of San Francisco’s “Incanto”

THE ALTON

For being on Food Network and yet, somehow managing to Not Suck


Nominees:

  • Duff Goldman for Ace of Cakes and for his relative low visibility and seeming lack of cooperation in the usual knuckleheaded FN Holiday co-branded clusterfucks;
  • Ina Garten for actually cooking just about everything impeccably–and for (like Duff) being nearly invisible elsewhere on the Network
  • Giada De Laurentiis for doing everything (but the food) wrong and yet….still cooking consistently better than she has to.

THE MARIO

For the chef/restaurateur who best multi-tasked, multi-platformed, merchandised, whored himself, or opened multi-units (either while impaired–or not) and yet STILL managed to protect the quality of the mothership–while continuing to make valuable contributions to the restaurant landscape


Nominees:

  • Tom Colicchio
  • Thomas Keller
  • Mario Batali

THE ROCCO

For worst career move


Nominees:

  • Gordon Ramsay for the cruel and pointless freak show that is Hell’s Kitchen
  • David Burke for the “Hooters in a Hula skirt” non-charms of Hawaiian Tropic Zone in Times Square
  • Tyler Florence for Applebees, Applebees, Applebees


THE CAT CORA AWARD

For most fame based on least actual culinary achievement


Nominees:

  • Guy Fieri for…”Tex Wasabi?”
  • Tony Bourdain … “One fucking book. Did this asshole ever work anyplace GOOD?”
  • Robert Irvine … “Sir Robert? Uh….Maybe not. Prince Charles’ wedding cake?…uh…no. White House? Hmmm..not according to Walter Scheib….Five Stars? Who IS this guy? Really?”


THE STEINGARTEN

For the writer or blogger who actually GETS it


Nominees:


THE DOUCHEBAG

For the best example of twisted, repressed, or compromised “I’d rather be making lemon bundt cake with My Cat, Mr. Mufflesworth” journalist who actually HATES food and hates the people who make food even more


Nominees:

  • Alan Richman for taking a big Dump on New Orleans at the worst possible time. And for his totally disingenuous piece on celebrity chefs not being behind the stove when Alan chooses to dine
  • John Mariani for continuing to be John Mariani and do what he does so well. Which is—apparently—get free stuff
  • Bob Lape … “Do I have to pay for that?”
  • Regina Schrambling for her deranged, embittered—yet fascinating—gastropoda.com, where she raves and rags on her former employers—(and Mario Batali) like an ex-lover-turned-bag lady.

That’s just my opinion…what do you think?

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

blogthebacon.com February 20, 2008 at 11:19 pm

This is awesome

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